Over Medicated

I don't much like taking any kind of pill. The body was meant to work without chemicals so I figure, the less foreign objects, the better. If I have a headache, I'll usually suck it up. I will take liberties with excruciating pain and perhaps take something. A good example of that would be on the flight home from the Dominican Republic where I felt like my head was going to explode. But that was a severe and rare occasion. The body is meant to hurt, and get better, and hurt some more. For the most part, I believe in naturally dealing with that never ending cycle.

Then came last fall. I had to begin my thyroid medication. One pill everyday and two on Saturdays. No longer having a thyroid gland, I had to make due with a drug called Synthroid and allowing it to regulate my system artificially. So, I can't complain. Cancer's gone and all I have to do is take some pills. Ok. I guess that's fair. Now, close to seven months later (yeah, it's been seven months) I have been feeling an increase in anxiety. This overwhelming feeling in my chest as if I was about to take an exam or get some terrible news. Imagine this feeling staying in your chest for a few weeks off and on, and then pretty much all the time for 3 to 4 days in a row. At work, it feels as if I am going to jump out of my skin.

I called my Doctor to find out what I should do. His response to me is that I'm supposed to have a high dosage of meds, because the higher my intake, the less chance I have to have my cancer grow back. However, the amount of meds I'm taking right now is making me feel as if my chest is going to implode. Hmm. Cancer, or anxiety. I would choose anxiety, but I'd rather not have to make the choice at all. So, I'm going to take less medication for a few weeks, get my blood reworked and see if it makes a difference in my physical feelings. So I thought I was done with Sloan for another 6 months but it turns out I'll have to go again in early June.

Last night I was however able to finally relax a bit. Bico and I spent some nice quality time together eating ice cream outside, warming up inside, and then I knit while he read his comics until I fell asleep and he continued to read and try and get the internet to work properly. He succeeded in relaxing me just like he said he would. I'm hoping the feeling of anxiety doesn't kick in too high today or this weekend. Perhaps if it does, I'll just head outside and run a bit to tire myself out. In any case, I'm going to figure out a proper balance so I can both stay healthy, and feel healthy.