Jean Pattison

Last Wednesday at 1 am, a bit over a day before her 94th birthday, Jean Pattison-housewife, citizen of the world, from Hastings on Hudson passed away. Today was her funeral.

There aren't many people in the world you can honestly say, "I've never met anyone like her." She was a close friend of my mothers or perhaps more accurate would be to say that she was her stand in mother and my stand in grandmother after my Nan passed away a few years ago.

I have found lately that I have been able to relate my own experiences to women much older than me and for both of us to have gone through the exact same experience. I've visited Jean many times in the last few months while she was at Cabrini. Her attitude and memory much more positive than the internal fear and anxiety she showed to most. During her violent coughing fits, she would continue to attempt to speak because the gift of time remained more important to her than her physical deterioration. Because of my experiences with illness, she and I were able to talk about the fear we both knew so well. The feeling of not being able to breathe. The long and frightening nights where you just hope to see any sign of day. I shared with her my fears of illness, and she did the same. The daily fear she went through simply by being in the body of a 93 year old with a mind and memory that didn't bend to time's inevitable destruction.

She and I also shared a secret and I send my thanks for keeping my secrets. I found out today at your funeral that you had a few of your own.

My mother told me that in her last few weeks, something that had brightened her life so much and helped her through the really difficult physical stresses was having me bring Bico to meet her. She said that nothing made her happier than knowing how happy we were together and gave us her enthusiastic approval. When we arrived at Cabrini, and I introduced her, the first thing she did was touch his face. A blind artist never gives up the imagination of sight.
The funeral today was religious and therefore not my exact cup of tea, but the speeches made by friends and family were accurate in their portrayal and it was nice to hear shared memories from people I had heard so much about, but only today was able to meet.

Her collage "Matsuyama" will hang in my new apartment come July 1st and the cards and gifts she has given me through time will also stay close. As my mum has said, "It is the end of an era."

(From one who knows, the two most difficult times in the last 94 years were the great depression, and WWII. Experience counts for all.)