Starved

The last week I've been out of it. I haven't been productive. I haven't been reading or writing. I've been procrastinating and acting in a way I haven't all semester. Tomorrow I'm being workshopped so I didn't have a lot to do this week but I've successfully avoided doing more than the bare minimum. So, why is this the case? That is the question I was just asked by Plosk. Why am I acting strange, out of it, childish and random. Is it that I don't know what to do with myself? That feels like the case.

I feel like I need a break. I need a vacation, a holiday, an extended amount of time in which I'm having fun. Last night was a nice few hours of fun. Molly and I had lunch here, then went to slave for tea and snacks then spent about 30 minutes in the car continuing to chat. I haven't had that good a convesation in quite some time. Molly and I used to as I said to her and she agreed "walk on egg shells" around each other. There were always topics we never quite talked about. What kind? Well, the big ones like politics, religion, the war going on, and a variety of other things. She and I differ in more than a few ways but last night wasn't about arguing over our differences, it was about finding similarities even within our different philosophies. We reached middle grounds on almost everything. Most of the people I surround myself believe similarly to me. So when a belief is different I enjoy talking about it because interesting conversation usually comes up. That was the case, and boy oh boy was it satisfying. Molly is the kind of friend who has always been there but we've always been tentative with each other. Last night I think was one of the first nights we were really respectfully honest and not just chatting about relationships or family. We extended our convo into the world around us and how we see it, and although we definitely have our differences, there aren't as many as we both imagined.

That's off topic from my frustration since it was obviously the opposite, but it was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise tense feeling week. What am I tense about? I'm really not sure, but I know I'm looking forward to England and getting away from everything for a little while. Everything meaning school and work actually. My mind is dying for a rest and I'm eager to give it one.