I dislike titles

I'm thrashing about. Not doing much of anything actually. I'm stone faced and feeling frustrated. Not sure why. I simply have the feeling of being tired combined with a lack of knowing what to do with my self at this moment. A lack of poetry perhaps. A lack of finding words that will help me explore exactly what my problem is. Macabre descriptions that were part of me, from me and now escape me completely. A lack of knowing how to format my thoughts. What makes you able to speak to the world in a way that hasn't been done. I don't have this. This is currently not with me.

I miss words like clotting, marrow, and flesh. Visceral words that allow one to feel the world through the organs of their body. Associate the world around us with the inner parts that we don't see. There is a metaphor for everything, and the body and how it breaks down can easily be attached to the grim world around us. In any case, I'm tired. I'm always tired lately. I'm indexing Victor Hugo in french. Mind you I don't speak french. Or "Songs to a Shepherd" which is just as uninspiring. Wealthy wives of beaurocrats or sons of fortunes penciling their thoughts into a collected anthology simply because they are financially fortunate. Wallace Stevens is a rare wealthy business man with a sense of language, and besides for a quirky Alfred Kreymborg, I am left with "To my mother upon her death in her 78 year." Or poems titled, "Spring," "Death," "June" and other dismal season oriented poems that go no farther than speaking of mortality using the cycles of nature in order to get their point across. New ideas. Experimentation with language. So static. So stodgy. Attempting to fit into a specific form. Poetry as a fixed medium. Adrienne Rich during her "Aunt Jennifer's Tigers" period instead of "A Woman Dead in Her Forties." Bring out your insanity. Show the truth of what you think. Don't spend so much time thinking of clever metaphors. Please, instead write your thoughts, beliefs, truths. Metaphor will come. Beauty will come. It's the way we think, function. It's not to be processed or taught. Advice to myself perhaps.