Wednesday, November 30, 2005


This is not an actual confession as I cannot tell all the world what I would really like to right now. In about a week that will change and some very large news will be revealed.

But there needs to be some sort of documentation. This past week has been full of amazing energy, helpful friends and family, and hardships on a topic that was never supposed to be hard. Oy, I can't even be vague about this, so I'll stop and begin to write a draft that I can post in a week or so.

It's so difficult not to write about this now. I have so much working in my brain. But soon. Very soon. Big things are brewing.

Monday, November 21, 2005


Since Friday and through this Saturday we have visitors staying at 11o1. Matt and his girlfriend Viv are visiting NY for just over a week to relax and have a holiday and perhaps a broadway show.

Now what would be the first thing you take visitors to see in NY? Answer: Cadavers.

There is an exhibition of human cadavers down at the South Street Seaport right now. It was expensive to get into but completely worth it. You basically spend an hour and a half looking at human dissections of all the major systems in the body. Circulatory, Respiratory, Reproductive, Endocrine, and more. They literally separate each system from each other so you can see what just one looks like. There are also cadavers with all body parts intact.

Some of the dissections made my stomach turn. I'll openly admit that. But the Circulatory system was amazing. The small red branches extending through the torso, or the arm look like red coral. How they were able to separate such small fine blood vessels, I'll never understand. But it was beautiful.

The most revolting and fascinating thing I saw was the Dermoid cyst. It is on the ovaries, and can grow teeth and hair. I saw an ovary with teeth and hair! It was baffling.

I also saw a thyroid with cancer, and a thyroid without. It was very strange to see what the sick part of my body looked like, and what is no longer inside me.

This exhibit makes you reflect on your health, your body, and the ways in which we treat ourselves. I would recommend it to anyone for a very emotional and educational time.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Movie Blues

I enjoy the books. I don't think they are flawless, but I enjoy reading them, and appreciate the world that has been created.

The film that opened tonight was the worst film I can remember seeing- in fact I can't quite recall anything worse. It had no suspense, no bonds, none of the emotional integrity that made the books popular. Daniel Radcliff needs to be put out of his misery, and the great actors that play the teachers need to find better gigs even if they don't pay as much. This movie had no soul, and no story.

Please do not see this film. It will make a sickening amount of money. Don't waste your time.

I'm tired. And annoyed. Plosk is brushing his teeth, and we'll probably bitch about the film for a good 30 minutes before we attempt sleep.

Night Night.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

November 12th

Yesterday was Plosk and my 1 year anniversary. For most, this means, that they have been together getting to know each other for 1 year. This is not the case with us. This February, we will have known each other for 3 years. And for 2 1/2 years we have spent no less than 4 to 7 days a week in each others company as long as we were both within driving distance. This has been the case as a couple as it has been when we were just friends to when we were just confused as to what we were. But no two people spend that much time together if there wasn't more to it. Cheesy moment approaching. I told Plosk yesterday that we've been falling in love for 2 1/2 years and it's completely true. No matter what obsticles stood in our paths, we never gave up on each other, and that kind of devotion has proven itself within the relationship we have.

On our anniversary we woke up, went to the Antique fair at the piers, did some shopping. Sparkles everywhere. Then had a nice and thoroughly funny lunch, took a detour to the woods on the way home to take pictures, came back to the apt for some quality time and then went to see Jarhead. It was a nice day for just the two of us, especially considering how busy we've been these past few months. What is nice about living together is no matter how busy you are, you always see each other in the morning and at night but yesterday we had 24 full hours.

Jarhead was very intense. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I could never date someone who had violence as a part of their daily life. Whether that be a soldier, a police officer or anyone who invites violence as a part of their structure. I don't understand the mentality and I find it disturbing. With that said, Jarhead was excellent. Monotony and waiting have to be one of the hardest things about war. This film showed the daily life of a soldier at his bravest and weakest and as a real human being. Some people may not think enough things "explode" for a war movie, but this is not the Hollywood version of war. The only other piece of exposition that exposed a soldier in such a poignant way was the book "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brian. It's a better book than Jarhead is a movie, but both are worth a visit. The desire for killing was real and terrible. The way soldiers are drilled to think about their enemy was very well done. And the concerns for their loved ones at home and fear of being forgotten was also very well done. It was thought provoking and hard to watch. The acting is also impressive.

Now, I'm going to get ready for Vball. Time to play for myself! No more coaching for now! I have a life again! And on to start year two. Like my mom said, "one year of many."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


I am by no means wealthy, but I am not in the least poor. My job allows me to have certain luxeries. Plosk and I are able to travel, go out to see shows, and get the little things to make our lives and apartment more convenient and more aesthetically pleasing. Oh yeah, and we own a co op right outside of Manhattan.

In some ways, I was ruined years ago. My mother likes nice clothing. Modeling allowed me to wear sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, clothing, shoes, etc. One day I'd be wearing Chanel diamonds, the next Balenciaga shoes, and Armani dresses. In real life I can't afford those things. This is what Outlets are for. I have Gucci pants, Armani, Stella shoes, a d & g dress and a variety of other lovely things (all for great deals). Yes, I am a bit of a designer whore. Again, I blame my mum. But as my excuse, it is hard to find nice things to wear when you're 5'9 and 110. The upscale designers (wrong or right as it may be) make clothing for a certain industry and body type, and it happens to fit mine well. JC Penny just isn't gonna do it. Maybe for socks. And yes, this is snobby. Now why am I ranting about this. Plosk and I went shopping at Woodbury commons this past Sunday. I found the most amazing dress at Dolce and gabbana. It was beautiful. Elegant, and form fitting, just my size- this was the only one they had in stock, and then I asked the price. "just over 6,000." Yeah, 6,000 dollars for a dress that's not even in season. I don't think so. But my heart did ache for it, and in fact, it still does.

Plosk did get something new and exciting though. So we were successful in that respect. A very lovely garment from Burberry's which usually isn't my style, but it doesn't scream burberry like so many of their clothes do.

Later we went into the city in the meat packing distric where Stella is, and saw some more lovely antique jewelry that was about 18,000. Maybe one day. Not today however. But Plosk did find out he's going to be the devil. I went to an audition/rehearsal with him and got to see him act and sing. Very entertaining. And enjoyable. I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product.